Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Hormones, Part 2

So basically hormones take a long time. I mean I really was willing to start them about last July/August, but I thought you needed a referral from a therapist after working with them for three months. So I fished around for a long time with different therapists, and blew threw lots of money doing that thinking it was necessary. Long story I've probably told elsewhere. Then after November came around and my last therapist had just dumped me after saying he "morally disagrees with the hormone therapy and anything related to transition," I was very frustrated that I had decided I was pretty comfortable with transition as of June, but hadn't made much of any progress. So I finally just decided to forgo therapy (after all that headache) and try meeting with an Endo.

Luckily around August I talked with my family doctor and we started on Anti-Androgens. That helped.

Anyway, then the first one I met with wasn't actually an Endo so we just canceled the appointment then and there, which was really nice of him that there wasn't any fee. The next one we had an appointment set up for December 27th, and so for about a month I was like counting down the days until I could finally start meeting with him. Kinda thinking of it as "my late Christmas present," since taking steps towards being on hormones was really the only thing I wanted for Christmas. Then about December 20th I got a call from them saying "we don't do that kind of thing (referring to trans HRT) here." So I got obviously depressed, I think I've talked about that elsewhere.

Anyway though, we scheduled another appointment for February 6. Again I was counting down the days.

In a way I suppose it's somewhat good it took that long though. I mean, AA's I'm on right now don't have much of any risk of infertility, but starting on estrogen does, so my plan was to bank sperm. Well after burning through most all the money for non-productive therapy, we could no longer afford sperm-banking, so I was thinking about what I wanted to do a lot.

I came to the conclusion (after talking it over a lot with friends and family) that it made sense to start hormones, and forego sperm banking, until I could afford it (if ever, depending on my fertility once I can afford it). Since I guess sometimes permanent infertility can take a couple years, I've got to be putting my money into college right now, and hormones are a rather important thing right now for my own mental well-being.

So with that decision made, I finally was ready to meet with my Endo February 6 (oddly the same one that my mom met with like 30 years ago), hoping to start HRT ASAP. It was a good meeting (I was so nervous), and first we had a physical examination kind of thing. He said I had quite a bit of legitimate breast tissue, more than the average person on AAs, which was good to hear since before starting them in August I had no breasts at all. This is one of those cases where FtM people can't relate at all, lol. Then he said that he'd like to run a few more tests first, and would like to get a letter from my Psyciatrist. So I'm hopefully meeting with my Psychiatrist soon (I have an appointment for the end of March, but am on the waiting list so I can mostly likely come earlier. If not it might be possible to just have him send a letter then pay over phone, since he already wrote a similar one just a few months ago.), and then I'll meet back with the Endo around the start of March.

So it's frustrating being ready to transition since July, but not even starting on hormones until March/later. But what can you do. Hopefully things are moving forward now at least.

Also my "Estradiol by tandem mass spectrometry" test got a 19.2, which I think is normal (if not low) for males. Disappointing, but not unexpected.

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