Thursday, October 23, 2014


There's this post on my gender identification I've been working on for a while now, and I'll probably eventually post it. Until then, I guess just as an update, I'm doing much better. After we went off my antidepressants at first I was doing really bad, but I've slowly been getting better. Also I actually have my motivation to be doing stuff again! So that's really nice. Recently I've been studying sipser's text on theoretical computer science, specifically right now finite automota and graphs, while still chugging away through my linear algebra course.

I did technically take an academic leave, as I was doing so bad up until a few weeks ago that it seemed to make sense, to help me work towards being a little more stable. Luckily they should be able to refund fees and I should be able to keep my scholarship, so that's nice. The paperwork is just "processing" right now so I'll hear back in a few weeks, but they were saying it should probably should be okay since I have medical documentation from my psychiatrist.

So right now I'm just doing substitute janitor work at schools and still going through some of my course stuff because I think it's still worth learning the material even if I'm not in the class anymore, partially cause it's something I enjoy but also because it's really necessary to understand linear algebra at a deep level if I want to do well as a researcher in computer science.

Anyway it's probably relevant now to copy a post I made to facebook here:

So I had a dream where I met this really awesome girl, and then we were dating and stuff and like it was getting kinda serious because apparently like months/years go by in a few minutes in dream time, and then suddenly we were considering marriage but then at our marriage it turned out that she was actually a robot and the company that made her needed her back and turned her into spare parts for other robots so I woke up crying. 
Subconscious could you not.

As my therapist said "haha yea your poor psyche is going through a lot right now." I'm meeting with her again now every week so that's good, I think she helps. Again overall I think I'm doing better. I'm right now just trying to get on a better schedule. I had some insomnia too but a med helped a ton with that so it's not really a big deal anymore which is nice too.

I've been trying to start up dating as well but lol that's complicated.

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